When Family Feels Complicated
Distance or conflict in a family — whether it's been building slowly or arrived suddenly — can feel like one of the most disorienting losses there is. Each person involved is often holding a different version of how things got this way.
This work creates the conditions for something different to be possible. Before anyone sits in the same room together, each person has the chance to be heard, understand their own role, and decide what they actually want. Preparing individually before engaging in joint work isn't a detour — it's often the most important part of the process.
How It Works
Usually one person reaches out first. We start with a complimentary 10-minute call or Zoom to walk through my process, understand who should be involved, clarify billing and identify who my client of record will be.
If you decide to move forward, we schedule a full one-on-one session to explore the history of the conflict in more depth.
If multiple people reach out independently, I follow the same initial process with each of them.
Once I understand who's involved, I ask the person who initiated contact to consent to me reaching out to the additional family members.
I then invite each person to meet with me individually, just once — not a commitment to family therapy, just a chance to understand the process and decide whether to participate.
The Individual Meetings
Before any joint work begins, I meet one-on-one with each family member to understand:
Their goals — both for themselves and for the family
The boundaries they need to feel safe moving forward
Their experience of the history of the conflict
My Recommendations
After meeting with everyone, I share recommendations with the family as a whole. Common paths include:
Individual sessions first, joint sessions later — each person does some internal work before coming together. This may be brief or longer depending on what comes up.
Extended work with one family member, then widening the circle — others join the process over time as it becomes appropriate.
Each person finds their own therapist — and consents to a collaborative team meeting before any joint family work begins.
Joint sessions from the start — when conflict is manageable, when family members have already been in contact for some time, or when the family has an existing relationship with a therapist and is ready to move directly into shared work.
A Few Things Worth Knowing
This process is entirely voluntary. Anyone can step back at any point.
My role is to challenge you to try new ways of being in relationship — not to force anything.
Change in these relationships is possible. It rarely happens quickly, but it happens.